An Open Letter to the makers of Project Gotham Racing

[NB it is entirely possible that you might not understand this so don’t worry]

Dear Bizarre Creations,

You make fine videogames. How I love to pretend I have the wind in my hair as I hurtle around a virtual race track. How I laugh and cry as the car prangs a wall and tumbles sideways at hight speed. However I feel there in something missing from the experience.

How about a racing game in which the cars represent atavistic throwbacks to ones childhood? We earn an Audi in the game only to be reminded constantly that this was the car that father left us for the final time in. His arm around some other woman. Mother weeping silently in the corner…. The car a symbol of creeping dread and deep rooted Freudian angst. Or the cheap toy ferrari, the one we loved which was destroyed in a freak accident with a cheese grater. The first time we began to identify with our possessions. A trait that will haunt us all our adult existence.

You could also make a racing game which acknowledges the untenable absurdity of car racing and sees sport as nothing more than a Sisyphean challenge marked out only by constant repetition. In a way motorsport as a metaphor for the 9-5 rat race.

Press A to start your engine. Press B to overcome your existential crisis.