My secrets

Whilst I waiting my own Tyler Durden or Dagmar Bellinghausen to liberate me from my live to work existence I thought I’d share some other things with you.

Some of my secrets, (or at least things that you wouldn’t necessarily know about me even if you knew me in the flesh or had me listed as a facebook friend):

– I have been gathering material for a book about tea for the last half a decade but I not sure if I will ever finish it

– I invent imaginary lives for complete strangers who sit next to me on buses

– I once (by negligence) killed or at least critically wounded my ex-boss’s dog. It choked on a badge that came unclipped from my bag as the boss in question was terminating my employment. The dog disappeared whilst still choking and the boss in question didn’t even notice, despite my concern.

– Exactly one year ago today a relationship I was in began to unravel irrevocably (I wasn’t going to mention it but since I’m in a confessional mood today I thought I should).

– Secretly I love happy endings, despite my occasional gloomy disposition

– I habour violent thoughts about destroying the office scanner with a baseball bat, whilst listening to Rage Against The Machine. I sometimes wonder how many people in my office would notice…

– One of my private fantasies is of giving flowers to a stranger for no reason other than to make them feel better about the world

Thats a fairly mixed bag both good and bad, I’m not sure what my no-longer secrets say about me. I hope they don’t make me seem callous or unkind. I use irony to defend myself and i’m not sure that is always such a good plan