The Russian way…

After Lenin I trekked around for hours looking for a place to stay and realized that there is no cheap accomodation for miles. I’ve ended up staying in an average hotel which is stupidly expensive. It is listed in the Lonely Planet guide as Mid Range and although it has a nice facade it is really nothing more than an upscale B&b (albeit with a sauna available in the winter). It is however The Most Expensive Place I Have Ever Stayed. The only reason I am there is because I thought I was about to start suffering from sun stroke.

However on the off chance you ever find yourself in a hotel in Moscow here are some fun things to do:

Pretend you are a spy. I spent the last few hours in a bathrobe/dressing gown practising my Sean Connery accent and sipping cheap whisky.

In your head append the end of every conversation you have with a Russian, with the phrase “..because you are about to die”. My conversation with the receptionist earlier ran something like this (in truth that is – apart from the obvious addition):

Me: Is there a laundry facility here?

Receptionist: Yes there is

Me: May I use it?

Receptionist: No you may not

Me: Can I ask why not?

Receptionist: Because you are leaving us too soon sir… BECAUSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE!

(okay I embellish slightly but the rest of the conversation could have come from a spy film).

On another note I’m going on a train tomorrow which won’t arrive at it’s destination for about 72 hours. I’ll catch you then

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