Monthly Archives: April 2007

Office debate..

So today in the office we livened up proceedings with a discussion about which actors would play us in the film of our lives (regardless of age and race). I opted for Bill Murray mainly because of his comic timing and laid back nature and because I thought it would be fun to see a sixty something year old actor playing a twenty something office worker. We also had votes for Bill Cosby, Christian Bale and Arnold Schwarzanegger: "Dammit, dis scanner is not vorking, vat should I do?"

This debate lead me to compile a list of inappropriate castings for biopics

1) Danny Devito playing Peter Crouch (okay I stole that one from someone in my office)

2) Harrision Ford as The Pope

3) Robert De Niro as Princess Di (He’s a method actor, so it shouldn’t be a problem right?)

4) Angelina Jolie as Jack Nicholson (it’s just about crazy enough to work)

5) Woody Allen as Stalin

Deep Chill

Yesterdays impromptu day off was pretty good. I completed C&C3 except I accidently caused 25 million civillian deaths in Europe – oops, must try harder. The I went to see The Laze ( playing at the Carling Academy.

I’m off to watch my friend play cricket later in the park – Currently I must be the most mellow man alive

Freedom for a day

I have the day off due to an absence of work in my office. It’s a sunny day so (in no particular order) I’m going to:

1) Eat an ice cream or smoothy or yoghurt of some description (anything cold will do)

2) Write a story about…something (or maybe a haiku)

3) Sit in the park with a good paperback (either something by Douglas Coupland or Che Guevara’s "Motorcycle diary"

4) Drink beer

5) Listen to music at a volume loud enough to annoy the neighbours if they weren’t at work

6) Play videogames (specifically WarioWare Inc! or Command & Conquer 3)

7) Blog about the above in order to proke jealousy in lesser mortals who might be at work

8) Calculate the amount of money I’m losing as a result of the absence of work.

9) Wonder if I can get point 2) published in order to negate point 8)

10) Rethink my life/soulsearch/philosophize

Ink Polaroid

For those of you not familiar with the concept, an ink polaroid is a picture you would have taken if you had a camera with you. I thought I’d better write this down before I forget.

It was this odd five seconds or so. The sun sprang from behind the cloud like a clown entering a circus tent lighting up the bus. It happened to the girl in the green cardigan sat by the bus driver first. As the sun came out she got a text on her phone, looked down and a smile…no not a smile, a grin, spread across her face. At exactly the same time, the Chinese couple in front of me started laughing quietly at something their baby had done and the man sat diagonally opposite began to grin at something he had seen in the street outside. Suddenly over the space of this five second period, everyone in my field of vision is grinning broadly, entirely independently of what anyone else has said or done. It’s like an earthquake spread out from it’s epicentre. To tell you the truth, it felt quasi-religious. Then the sun disappeared again and everyone resumed staring at their feet.

Another public transport observation…

This happened a few weeks back. I’m not sure if i’ve seen this phenonenon in other cities – maybe it’s a Liverpool based thing whereby someone (not wishing to stereotype but it’s generally in my experience a particular type of middle aged female in possession of a rich seam of gossip) will wantonly ignore the "Please do not talk to the bus driver whilst the bus is in motion, please do not stand forward of this notice" sign and will stand next to, and attempt to converse with the bus driver for the entire duration of the journey. This will a) impede the progress of passengers wishing to dis/embark and b) probably aggravate the driver.

In the incident I witnessed the talker in question executed an entire monologue AT the driver (NB as far as I could tell, not a single word passed the drivers lips the whole time). The most memorable sentence of this unimpeded discourse was the line "My client, y’know, she got that pyromania". Staggeringly enough, it would seem that pyromania is now a transmittable disease…

An Inconvenient Truth

I watched the above, the other night. For a film that effectively consisted of a power point presentation it was suprisingly engaging. Al Gore has the same comic timing as Jon Stewart from the Daily Show (particularly when he got excited about something). Maybe theres a secret Democrat cloning facility in California.

Possibly the oddest thing about An Inconveneint Truth is that for all of about five seconds, my home town in North Yorks appears on screen (I’m pretty certain anyway). because it plays host to one of Europes largest coal fired power stations. Wow, Al Gore knows about my home town (possibly). The only real problem with the film is that despite his great personal knowledge of the subject, Al Gore is mostly preaching to the converted…

On being a vicitm of crime…

Last weekend was everything a good spring weekend should be. Hot and sunny with good sports coverage for those into that kind of thing. The only let down being that I was robbed. Some ne’er do well has had away with my phone. I was out in town as a mate of mine was leaving to move to New York when I realized my pocket felt unnaturally light. I tried asking the bar staff of the places I had been to in case it had fallen out but to no avail. It went straight to answer phone when I rang it so I’m certain it was stolen. I guess a fair number of my friends read this so, if you’ve been trying to contact me and you think I’m ignoring you then sorry. I’ll get a new phone as soon as I have some money…

It’s not all doom and gloom though. I’ve scored a pay rise from my work so I came in today clean shaven and wearing my best cords to celebrate. Yeah!

More public transport observations

I tried to blog from my phone earlier but it didn’t work, so here this weeks transport observation, coming back from yorkshire I saw two parents encouraging their children to play with Fuzzy Felt (aka flannelgraphs – see the wibsite features section for details about flannel graphs). Whilst they were playing, one of the children annonced in a voice loud enough for the rest of the carriage to hear, that "I can smell poo, one of you didn’t wash your hands when you went to the toilet" – as far as I could tell this comment was aimed at her parents. She must have been about 6 years old. Needless to say her parents didn’t see the funny side.