The Impoliteness Grenade

I can’t be the only person this year who has to bite their tongue at the dinner table. In fact given my tendency towards horrific social gaffes I have to be extra careful. There are times however when it feels like I have swallowed the grenade of impoliteness and I have to bite my cheeks in order to stop something exploding out. Do you understand what I mean? When you find yourself telling outrageous lies to your closest blood relatives. You tell them the food is great when everyone present can see that it’s burnt beyond all recognition or when you receive that tartan jumper you say "Thanks, that will keep me warm". I suspect everyone has at least one quite possibly racist relative, but what do you do when they voice their views over christmas dinner, you nod shamefully and murmer "Of course, you have a point there".

Whats the solution?

Make a solemn vow to be as brutally honest as you can be, your relatives will thank you for your honest opinions. Take Larry David as your role model. Cause havoc at the dinner table with your own caustic views. Burnt dinner? Tell them exactly how it could have been done better. Tartan clothing as a present? Tell them how much you spent on them. Racist relatives who play the "I’m only being plain spoken" card? Take that as an invitation to be "plain speaking" about your own views. Remember honesty is the best gift you can give, don’t suffer in silence this year.