I should point out right now that I’m currently staying back with the parents in North Yorkshire so I’m not currently displaced. I also thought it was fair to point out that despite my earlier rant I have amassed a fair amount of seasonal booty.

Avast!, my booty consists of:

From Katie – One bag constructed entirely out of drugs (also known as "Hemp" I believe). It has a tastefully keyring attached with the iconic marijuana leaf symbol. I intend to remove it at some point. The bag is theoretically from Amnesty International but it doesn’t have their logo on it unfortunately, I’m not sure whether I’d be more likely to be stopped going through customs with a bag with the A.I. logo or a bag with a drugs logo. Depending on the country either one of those symbols could invoke a latex enema. I do really like the bag though and it’s much better than my decaying satchel

From my parents – One copy of "The Motorcycle diaries" by Ernesto Che Guevara. Last year I complained about getting socks for christmas and asked if I could have a book instead suffice to say my parents did well (though ironically I need more socks at the moment). Also one pen, one "Wilderness Survival Kit" (ie a thermos, compass and multitool). And hopefully some money towards turntables

From my brother – One bottle of Balvennie single malt to while away those winter nights

From my mate Julie – Shiny mini disco balls (a reference to Mr Susan the cloth beast from the Mighty Boosh) and a Miracle Toast Stamp (inprint any piece of toast with an image of the Vigin Mary)