War of the Roses redux pt2

I’ve been asked to produce a top 5 ways the Wars of the Roses could have been concluded without violence:

1) Cricket (assuming you could build a time machine that could capture Yorkshire’s best players in their prime, we might have a chance. Alternatively we could send Geoff Boycott back in time Terminator stylee to kill Andrew Flintoff’s mum before his birth. That would require some violence but not much)

2) Beer festival face-off (see entry below)

3) Food off (a variant of 2), and Yorkshire has definitely produced better food (Wensleydale and Yorkshire puddings for example. Except a pie eating contest would result in a win for Lancashire.

4) A quiet fire side chat between the Houses of York and Lancaster could have saved everyone involved a lot of bother (and death)

5) Umm running out of ideas.. a sheep shearing competition?

2 thoughts on “War of the Roses redux pt2

  1. Not sure about your definition of violence – #1 involves throwing very hard objects at people’s heads at great speed.

    P.S. Was Henry Tudor Yorkshire or Lancashire? I could never work out who actually won the War of the Roses.

  2. Not bad, maybe swap sheep shearing for a battle of the bands, artic monkeys vs zutons? perhaps a chippy off as well, I note with pleasure that liverpool chip shops do not offer me ‘scraps’ ughh, ohh and maybe a ‘thrift’off, you’re pound goes a long way in terms of provisions in the north west, but the charity shops are not half as good as york and selby, mmm maybe we need a festive top 5, how about 5 ways we can all make christmas better?

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