Monthly Archives: September 2006

Defying Gravity

I went mountain boarding this weekend. For those of you who don’t know, it’s like a cross between snowboarding and skateboarding on grass with bigger wheels. And it hurts, a lot.

Actually it hurt less as I went on, probably because I stopped feeling the lower part of my body at some point during the day and the fact that I kept my balance more. I’m afraid I didn’t manage to catch any big air or pull any 180’s but I’m at least qualified to use the lingo now.

Mountain Boarding certainly induced some strange dreams though – on saturday night I dreamt I got into a fracas at any airport and ended up shoving a fat bald man repeatedly face first into a huge bucket of pick and mix until the FBI pulled me away.

Isn’t it strange?

Not to sound snide aboutt the beliefs of my co-religionists, but have you ever noticed that it’s the type of Christians who so virulently opposed what they see as "postmodernism" (ie relativism). who are often the most virulent opponents of what they see as evolutionary theory?

This thought occured to me as this week as a shark that walk on it’s fins across the ocean bed has been discovered (

It seems to me that give or take elements of the theory, I have no problem with the idea of theistic evolution and frankly, it baffles me that anyone could have. Given that Christians generally believe in a God that does not tell lies, and that scientific processes and observations are generally regarded as truthful in other areas, you’d have to be pretty damn postmodern and relativistic yourself in order to NOT believe in evolution. In fact I’ve actually heard the same Christians use post-modern sounding arguments about the impossibility of having an objective viewpoint due to the subjective nature of human experience to discount evolution and THEN turn around and use the existence of scientific methodology as weapon against "relativism ". Inconsistent non? I’m sorry if this has offended anyone but it vexes me greatly.

Comfortable yet unyielding

I visited York today (shock, two non-displaced blog entries – so sue me!). Coming back to the city after such a long absence is like slipping into an old pair of courduroys that you’d forgotten about but when you try them on they still kinda fit in a comfortable but slighty unyielding way. The fabric may have frayed in places and somebody may have replaced your favorite record shop with a snack bar (In York that is not in my trousers (Track records, rest in peace)) but the comfort is still the same and you feel six years younger wearing them (The trousers that is, not York).

I also discovered this morning, that someone I used to know is now married with a kid. I guess I always thought the my friends would stay in cryogenic stasis until I saw them again and then they would defrost into insta-friend without ageing, relationship change or emotional scarring. This is only the second time I’ve heard from someone I haven’t seen for a few years and found that they have changed, most of my friends DO seem static when I see them again. Maybe these sorts changes will be more obvious over the coming years, like tectonic plates slowly generating mountains.
I’m feeling woozy and nostalgic, so if this blog entry sounds stupid I apologise.

Temporary Non-displacement – Normal service will be resumed shortly

I should point out that at this moment I’m in North Yorks – hence the title of this blog is inaccurate. If this offends you then please don’t call trading standards on me. after all you’re not paying to read this are you?

That caveat done with I’d like to answer Sarah’s request in the comment below. The top 5 names for dogs you’d like to the to the pub.

1) Mrs Sops the beer dripping dog (press your pint glass firmly against her fur and watch it magically refill your glass)
2) Jack Spaniels
3) Kebab
4) The Apologetic Drunken Tramp (like the Tramp from The lady and the Tramp, but after the doggy actors career had failed and he became a washed up bar fly who could only dream of better days and howl at the moon)
5) Narcolepsy

If anyone else has suggestions for top fives then let me know


Whilst walking in the park the other day, I overheard a man calling his dog by the name Lenny. This has to be one of the most spectacularly unlikely names for a dog ever. Here is my top 5 list of odd names to give a dog (not in any particular order):

1) Kevin
2) Malcom
3) Lenny
4) Jonathan Livingstone
5) Fortitude


Well it’s the last weekend of the summer (probably) and rubbish weather starts here again. i’m hoping I can persuade someone to squeeze one last barbeque in before the cold season starts again and I have to go into hibernation in my cave.

It’s also time to say goodbye to Falkirks finest indie duo Arab Strap (, who have announced their split after ten years. They were most famous for doing the soundtrack for that guinness advert with the hot air baloon in the shape of a cow (does anyone other than me remember that?). They were also famous for being very, very miserable. Appropriately enough their greatest hits is called "ten years of tears". They won’t be hibernating in my cave though, unless they want to.

However much as though I dislike autumn, it is my favourite season for seeing interestingly shaped clouds.

Thought for the week

If Plato were alive today, it wouldn’t take long for the Daily Mail to brand "The Republic" an "evil paedo book that has no place in our schools!!!"

Really people can be bad or deeply flawed and still have good and/or interesting ideas. This is why reductive political conservatism is (hopefully) doomed. Sorry if that sounds glib but I spent the whole day at work wondering how Socrates would cope with the modern world and that was all I could come up with.