The Star Wars toys that never were…

I finally got to see Episode 3 last night (more on that later) and got into a conversation with my brother on the bus on the way home about alternative Star Wars Ep 3 toys. These are the ideas we came up with:

Padme Amidala birth chamber playset: Squeeze her hand and baby twins pop out, watch as her face realistically contorts with pain! Comes complete with robot midwives. Price $29.99 (can’t do pound sterling symbols on this computer)

Slice and Dice Anakin Skywalker: Flick a toy lightsaber (sold separately) at any of Anakins limbs and they will sever in a totally realistic fashion. Is also flame retardant and comes with lava dip! Price $15.99

Face changing Emperor Palpatine: Sparks of lightning fly from a specially concealed generator hidden in the hands of this action figure. Watch as his face gradually becomes EVIL!. Not suitable for those under 5 years old. Price $17.99.

On the whole I think the film was a return to form for George Lucas. Hayden Christiansen was far better at acting evil than good. The only continuity error that really annoyed me was Yoda. Yoda in Empire Strikes Back is a cantakerous old git who delights in using the force to torment Luke Sykwalker. In the prequels he is reduced to spouting watered down philosophy and relationship advice to Anakin – but to be fair he gets one of the best Star Wars fight scenes. Anyway no spoliers.