Monthly Archives: March 2005

It’s been a while since I last blogged…

Dan has told me I have to blog more frequently from now on. I’ve been working 50 hour weeks though so the blog has been at the back of my mind for a bit.

This week I have: nearly won at trivial pursuit, seen Julie for the first time in 3 months, failed to win an ebay auction, speculated about Asian pop culture and worked…lots (sorry, lists of activites with no commentary are pretty dull).

Dan also bought "Viewtiful Joe" on an ebay auction. I’m not very good at it yet, having played only once but in an act of synchronicity, the manual for the game contains yet more examples of JapLish. Forgot to check what the manual actually said though. Must go now. Will try a more substantial blog update later.

I’m not Regret

I’ve been thinking a lot about Asia in general recently (due to my upcoming trip to Thailand) and it occurred to me that most of my mental images of the continent are shaped by Hollywood (e.g. Vietnam war films, and films like "Lost in Translation"). The few bubbles of genuinely Asian pop culture that cross my radar tend to be Japanese video games or late night flashs of Bollywood movies whilst channel hopping.

I’m not sure if this is a particularly Japanese phenomena or whether other Asian countries are affected by it, but JapLish seems to affect the vast amount of Japanese video games I have seen. I did a search on google earlier for it and found the following:

SCANDINAVIAN NATURAL ROMAN BEST BREAD MESSAGE Our little friend "TOMTE" use magical secret-power for delicious BREAD that. Well enjoy in next morning. Children who living in NORTHERN EUROPE tell us secret that just baken BREAD. Yes…… TOMTE’s secret. HOKUO as. BREAD country SAPPORO is very similar with TOMTE’s land.
(found at, this was the most amusing example but there is a whole archive on the site)

Other examples I have come across are the emponymous "I’m not Regret" and "All your Base are now Belong to Us" (both from video games) and the crazy Japanese talk show host from "Lost In Translation" seemed only capable of talking in such a way. Perhaps it’s due to some strange difference in grammar or syntax between Japanese and English or maybe it’s a cultural thing but I’m going to keep an eye out for Thai-Lish (if such a thing exists). Until then Secret Child of Europe make Magic recipe Cake and sleep well.

It’s late

I’m going for an early night tonight. Might take a bath too. Doves are playing on the stereo and the house is quiet.

In the end I bought a tea canister for Foz and Claire, the pie slice had been taken but I reckon that they drink more tea than they eat pie so it seems like a worthwhile purchase. Buying a wedding present was a strangely soulless effort. I just pointed to the list and handed my debit card to the woman in the store. I think I might buy them something more personal as well. Perhaps a fine selection of tea to go in the canister?

At last I’m on a day shift tommorow. Time for bed


…that makes it eight solid days of closes, the most anyone’s done in a row. Also I took the most money last week (not suprising considering I worked more hours than anyone except Dan).

The last few days have been pretty tiring, too tiring for me to face writing this blog. Andy has gone away to Spring Harvest and Dan is going back to Batley for a few days, if I had anything remotely resembling a social life I could throw a wild party or something. That’s the problem with lates, you never see anyone. Might buy a book or DVD to keep myself entertained for a bit.

Dan has challenged me to use the word ‘ribald’ in this blog entry. I don’t know if quoting Dan satisfies that requirement. Maybe I should have a blog word for the week and ‘ribald’ could be this weeks word.

I broke my second favorite mug yesterday (the blue one Katie brought back for me from Greece) and cut my hand twice. I seem to break a lot of things at the moment. It started me off wondering if poltergeists are just the ghosts of clumsy people rather than the ghosts of evil people. Tiredness makes me thinks a lot of strange thoughts like that.

The Close Down King!

By tonight I will have done a solid week of closes at the pub (as far as I’m aware that’s the most anyone’s ever done, I rule!). I’ve also been working the last twelve days with no day off. I’m starting to feel the strain. Need the money though.

Last night I stayed up ’till 3am after working talking to Dan about ‘The Future’. Dan is doing a Journalism course next year so will be around for a bit longer. It’s been two years now since I graduated and all I’ve had are McJobs (see for details) and one 2 month computer programming placement, I was kind of thinking about leaving Liverpool or doing a Masters degree in Bioinformatics. On a related note Katie emailed today to say she was thinking of retraining as an Art Therapist (not quite sure what an Art Therapist is though).

I also went shopping for Fozzie and Claire’s weeding present at the weekend – £16 pounds for a pie slicer, they’d better damn well better eat pie with every meal for the rest of their lives for that price.

Flat Pack Fun in Ikea!

Well thursday night, (St Patricks Day) went off with out a hitch, though the faux Irishness of it all I found faintly disturbing. I now own a giant inflatable pint of guiness and a matching T-shirt which was my uniform for the night itself (but remember folks: Order your guinness FIRST in future!).

Yesterday I was awoken by a phone call from the amusingly named Joy Ryde (Katie’s mum) who wanted to check on arrangements for Thailand and give me travel advice. I’m also thinking of shelling out on an new pair of trainers for my trip.

My friends Claire and Fozzie get married next week, so I trekked down to Ikea with Foz to help out (after a breakfast consisting of tea and biscuits and a slice of toast). The warrington Ikea is arranged a bit like Plato’s heaven (to use another philosophy analogy). The upper floor is a showroom that contains The Ideal Sofa, The Ideal bookshelf, The Ideal Kitchen Unit etc, the Forms from wich the things in the real world derive their properties. The ground floor contains the flat pack furniture which, you, the consumer then buys and has to assemble.
First we wandered through catacombs made of bedroom furniture dimly lit by the suffuse glow of book lights and across islands of furniture generica, looking for a desk top and bookshelf that Foz wanted for their new flat. We broke the Swedish efficiency by taking wrong turns and back tracking, but finally found what we were looking for. Then we had to venture into the real world of flat packs, locate what we were looking for and then (to use an easter analogy) walked across the warehouse floor and car park with the flatpacks slung around our shoulders like some semi disposable MDF stations of the cross.

The rest of the afternoon was spent assembling the furniture.

I am now considerably poorer…..

… BUT I’M GOING TO THAILAND! I went do to the STA ( this morning and handed over a large sum of money, unfortunately it’s an e-ticket so I have nothing physical to show for it (other than my receipt).
I fly out of Manchester on the 17th April and return on the 18th May, I feel a bit nervous because it’s the first time I’ve flow in 14 years. It can’t be that bad I guess, and have the ability to fall asleep in any place at anytime, which turns out to be pretty useful sometimes, especially when bored.
When I travelled when I was younger I thought flying was as if I were climbing into a big metal tube and then the world around me would mysteriously rearrange itself. Almost as though a thousand invisble stage hands were waiting for the curtain fall to change scenery the between acts. I think most children are solipsists until they get to a certain age.

Now I have the feeling that I’m just waiting for the next act to happen.

I need a cup of tea…

I now have money…

I got enough money back from someone to be able to afford my flight without chipping away at my savings, now I just need to book it. My job suddenly seems bearable. Which is just as well given that I had to deal with The Most Awkward Customer In The World yesterday, someone who sent me back to the kitchen with virtually everything she ordered ("I can’t eat that I have alergies", "My daughter can’t eat that, shes bored with it", then why did you FLIPPING* order it then! (*N.B. flipping might not have been the exact word I used)) and whose husband proceed to chain smoke in the No Smoking area, despite the fact that I asked him 3 times to put it out.

My temper has been on a very short fuse as a result of this job, I think I might need anger management classes at this rate.

After work I sat talking to Dom as we worked out the tips, Kelly the new canadian girl who started a couple of weeks ago came over and somehow we ended up on the subject of a beauty pagent that Kelly entered once, her paegent skill was playing the flute. Dom said his paegent skill would be pouring the perfect pint. I think that my paegent skill would be my ability to do very well in general knowledge quizzes, or to be able to program a VCR to tape something at the right time.


Back in front of a computer screen again after not having t’internet for a while. Because this is a family oriented website I can’t go into the full details of friday night, suffice to say after I finished work, I went out into town with my housemate, where I imbibed one to many of the magical fermented hops potions on sale in the quaintly named Krazy House. That followed by the cadburys cream eggs on sale made me quite ill.

I ate alot of steak over the course of the weekend too (as well as a sunday roast).

Stayed up till three am (again) talking to Katie on the phone, she is in Melbourne and has been to a penguin sanctuary.

Today I am working a twelve – seven shift. The monday crowd is a sad parade of local retired folk drinking mild and frowning a lot. I’m just glad there is only four weeks to go until thailand

I’ve discovered a new real ale pub!

Last night I went to a pub called The Ship and Mitre with my housemate Andy and his friends, and I must say I had one of the finest pints I’ve ever tasted (I think it was called Erindger white beer or something, but I know it came in a *very* big glass (still only a pint though, just very tall and narrow)).

I spent most of yesterday trawling around the town centre looking for gear for my trip to Thailand (I wonder if anyone in BlogLand could help me out on the trainers vs sandals issue?). I also spectacularly failed to register with a G.P. hmm. I still have two more on my list however. I could do it today but I have to be in work in a few hours. Work on a friday, in a pub, with no real weekend to look forward to. Great. At least it’s for a noble cause…

Oh and I learned how to make cheesecake yesterday, which is always a useful skill, but not neccessarily one I’d want to put on my C.V.